If you want the girl you like to not stop thinking about you, «be the first to leave a conversation», «upload photos with attractive women», « fuck her» …
These are some of the tips that certain “experts” in love share on their social networks so that their followers, mostly men, learn what they consider basic notions of flirting.
It doesn’t stop there, of course.
What these digital gurus, who are allies of Cupid, publish are just little pills that serve as a hook for the real objective, that their followers end up buying their courses or participating in their camps.
And you might think that, seeing as his advice is somewhere between a 2000s rom-com and what we think of as toxic masculinity today, it doesn’t go far.
But the truth is that their popularity is through the roof and, what is worse, those who follow them really believe their two main maxims: the first is that all women are equal, a uniform mass ready to be hunted by them with their manual of tactics.
Second, those tactics work.
What they really encourage is to acquire a series of behaviours that are incompatible with a healthy relationship.
In short, whoever ends up betting on making me feel that ‘I have competition’, that they leave me in read or that they do not treat me in a good way is the kind of person I do not want in my life.
Because those old theories that the more you like a person, the more you have to ignore them so that they pay attention to you, that you only have to think about yourself or that you have to always be unattainable and indomitable -without writing to them every day or showing interest-, It’s something that has stayed with when we were 15 years old.
What’s more, they are things that are so familiar to us because they are the same ones that Mario Casas did playing Hache in Tres metros sobre el cielo.
The 12 years that have passed since the premiere of the film have not passed in vain. The protagonists have grown, like us. And we don’t want that treatment from anyone anymore.
Calling you “ugly” is no longer a good sign. It’s something you interpret as red flag.
The same thing happens when he strictly follows those hypermasculine attitudes that are applauded so much in the courses. With signs of violence or detachment, being unable to talk about his own feelings.
The idea that man must be something emotionally unattainable and must flee from all kinds of commitment is maintained.
It is not that we seek to become the center of the universe by having our crush tied to the table leg so that we never lose sight of him.
We want freedom for both members. And what we are not going to pass -nor accept as a method of flirting- is to be treated with contempt or indifference.
For this reason, I would love to tell those trashy experts that the best way to reach someone is through respect, care, dedication of time, desire, sincere communication, tenderness…
Because where they make us feel good, there it is.
